


Lemongrass Ass

by crackficswithfriends



Series: crack fics 2.0 [2]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Crack, Gym AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 00:06:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10231100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crackficswithfriends/pseuds/crackficswithfriends
Summary: Alois runs a slutty "gym," and so he has a duty to his patrons when they forget their underwear in the locker room.





	

**Author's Note:**

> codenames ash and brock wrote this one with hardly any knowledge of anything black butler.

Scenario: person a runs a gym and one day when cleaning they find someone has left their underwear so they go on a wild 2am mission to find the person the underwear belongs to.

 

Black Butler

 

Alois: blonde hair, always a slut, runs a slutty “gym,” wears booty shorts and thigh-highs

 

Ciel: looks like a little bitch and has black hair, has an eyepatch and wears high heels, has name stitched into underwear

  
  


Alois sighed in exhaustion after finally letting out his final customer of the day from his slutty “gym,” at approximately 1:36am.

 

Locking the door behind him, he made his way to the changerooms in order to tidy up a little bit. Though a disgusting practice, his customers enjoyed fucking in change rooms after “gym” sessions. The slutty “gym” apparently really turned them on. Perhaps it was the naked aspect of the entire thing. After all, the cool thing about the “gym” was how everyone was fucking naked all the time.

 

It had certainly brought about some interesting situations, but Alois wasn’t exactly complaining. It wasn’t  _ bad _ , and it was perfectly fine money, so…

 

The change room was blessedly empty. Many a time had he walked in on two very cheerful patrons participating in… other activities, but now, thankfully, there were no dicks out (for Harambe. RIP Harambe).

 

He peered into each locker, but stalled at locker #169. Reaching in, he pulled out a very nice, emo-looking pair of underwear. Inside, in neat, cursive embroidery, was the word  _ Ciel _ .

 

Ciel was a fairly regular customer. Alois was sure he would recognize him if he were to see him in public.

 

On one hand, he could wait until the next week to return the underwear, but on the other hand they were  _ very  _ fancy, and--fuck, they even  _ smelled  _ nice. What kind of fresh hell was this, that something so close to someone’s ass could smell like  _ lemongrass _ , but, then again, Alois had no complaints.

 

Glancing at the clock on the wall--it read 1:57am--he made a split-second decision.

 

Running towards the door and hastily unlocking it again to get out, he left his slutty “gym” behind and chased after Ciel, wherever the fuck he might have been.

 

Considering Ciel was probably too young to drive, Alois had to assume the kid was walking around, underwearless. Who the hell forgets  _ underwear _ , anyway? 

 

Running down the street, Ciel’s abandoned, lemongrass-smelling underwear tucked under his arm, time seemed to fly, and before he knew it, Alois was halfway across town and completely fucking lost.

 

Sighing and falling to his ass on the ground, he put the underwear in his lap and stared at it disheartenedly.

 

Behind him, someone started playing Evanescence’s  _ Bring Me to Life _ .

 

Softly, Alois started to weep. His inner emo had suddenly taken full reign of his body and mind. He no longer had any control left.

 

“Yeah, just get it all out,” someone said, patting his shoulder consolingly.

 

“Fucking…  _ lemongrass _ ,” he rasped out between sobs.

 

The pats stopped just as suddenly as they had come. 

 

“You… fuck lemongrass?”

 

The song was turned off, and the person was sitting down beside him.

 

“No,” Alois said. “But a lemongrass-smelling ass wouldn’t be bad, I guess.”

 

The person hummed thoughtfully, and Alois turned to look at who it was.

 

Gasping, he scrambled to his feet.

 

“Ciel!” he cried. “I have your ass--wait, fuck, I mean--”

 

Ciel waved his hand dismissively. “It’s cool. Lemongrass ass is a healthy desire.” Alois couldn’t see very well because of the darkness, but he was sure Ciel winked.

 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he said. “Anyway, these are yours. I found ‘em in locker 169.”

 

Ciel nodded, almost wistful. “Locker 169…” He licked his lips.

 

Alois considered this for a moment, then said, “Well, next time you leave something there, I think you’re gonna have to come and get it.”

 

Handing the underwear off to a slightly stunned Ciel, he turned and sauntered away, back to his gym. Or, where he hoped it was. 

 

He was really fucking lost.

 

And gay.

  
But, in fairness, mostly gay.


End file.
